JUST REMEMBER-EVERY RIVER STARTED OUT A STREAM...BY ME!
I recently found a bunch of Lyme peeps helping each other out, so I decided to do what I could by sending said money. You would think I had a bomb strapped and visible to everyone with what transpired next.
MK...I am at the window already addressed my little package containing 1 $5 Canadian Dollar Bill. 1$2 Canadian Dollar Bill. 2 $1 Canadian Dollar bills. 5 $2 Canadian coins, 4 Quarters, 2 dimes and 3-4 nickles. Had it all written down and everything. I admit I can look pretty strange when I go out, but I had just showered. Yea-I smelled clean. Yea-I slur a bit and am bald, but I was wearing a beautiful scarf my dad had just sent over my bandanna covering my head. Woman at window is trying so hard not to stare and mumbled something about Customs and printing it out. I must have said 'what?' Too loud or something because she looked so startled as she fled telling me to go "down the hill" where they could help me. ?
"Down the hill" is another post office. Only 12 miles away in dense fog, after a big snow, with 2 bald tires and 1 flat, off we went.
Man-what a line! I wait and ask for Customs slip and window lady says "you should mail this UP the hill. You have to fill it all out and wait in line again" No preblemo! I tell her they just sent me DOWN the hill, and she remembers the substation has different rules for Customs. I handed her my already made slip of what was inside, but she had found the Customs slip after banging drawers open and shut....
I go to fill out said slip. "Crapola" I think to myself..."NO pen!". Still filled with determination, I wait another 10-12 minutes in line to ask for a pen. Eyes rolling and huge sigh, I get a pen, a stern warning to "make sure you fill it ALL out!" and hear the snickering from the people in line and see a woman whispering (loudly) into her hand to the man behind her, "my God. Do meth much?" This is always the first thing people think is wrong with me here in California. Can't be my teeth, I have them all. Can't be the clothing, my boots alone were $300, and I don't go out any more looking shabby. (I seldom go out at all) Must be the weight loss...
Next thing I know I'm getting that horrible anxious feeling Lyme gives us when embarrassed, flummoxed or lost, so my eyes won't focus. Things start getting wavy lines, holes in words-being upset with Lyme ain't purity. I end up going outside and asking my landlord to help by reading the boxes and I'll fill it out. Nope. He has some issues and wants to fill it out he himself...-----*sigh*-----
Soooooooo. What would have taken 5-6 minutes, 40 minutes later, he hands me my name and address filled out and says "I don't know what these boxes mean, so you'll need to GET BACK IN LINE and ask when you get to the window again, for help." EGAD! In 9 minutes, the place closes. A bit shaky, I go back and wait in line.
This time the doors were locked behind me just as 9 running persons just squeaked in.
Unfortunately I started rocking back and forth. It is something I cannot help nor stop because I feel like I"m on a boat. Sometimes I'll drop to the floor slurring, drooling and vomit or dry heave all the while I can hear distant sounding voices, but am unable to respond as my tongue and lips swell. Dreading that outcome makes me rock more and adds this sound. Uncontrollable "bee-beee" repetitive noises always attract unwanted attention...But!!!! I'm almost there to the front of the line, and I want so very much for this lady in Canada to be able to have a turkey with the $21 & change I'm sending her. I hold on chanting "bee-bee-beee" from my mouth and the Serenity Prayer in my head, and I make it!
I tell window lady, "I apologise. I left the house without a pen or glasses because I had no idea about Custom"s slips". She didn't respond. Not right away anyway. She sure was pissed when she noticed what my landlord didn't understand and I couldn't see but for a few wavy lines. She bellows "I TOLD YOU TO FILL IT ALL OUT! YOU LEFT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART BLANK!" The last 9 people in line even looked shocked as my eyes started tearing up, making me even more blind I again explained how I can't see without glasses, I have Lyme Disease and she took my slip to a closed window, slapped it down and said "can you see what you wrote here? Write it again here!", referring to original scrap paper with all the denominations, coins, etc on it.
I'm shaking pretty bad by now, "bee-bee-beee" louder and everyone is staring as I think I copied it right. Back to the end of the line, someone says "just let her go ahead" so again I am facing the mad window lady and she announces "that will be $8.90". The inner moan of the crowd was almost audible as I squeak out "I only brought $7"...."Then it looks like you're out of luck doesn't it!"
I stumbled out the door tripping over the carpet and everyone laughed. I hated myself at that moment. I cried all the way home seeing the laughing faces, hearing the snickering. Why does Lyme make everything so difficult and make a person so strange looking, takes your hair, your mind, your dreams.?? It leaves YOU locked up inside, feeling so lonely knowing how odd you look on the outside. Whenever something like that happens, I feel a loss of yet another piece of what used to be me slowly slide away, replaced by feeling like nothing but crap. Why does Lyme seem to make people angry, or is that just me?
I want people to know about Lyme. I guess maybe 9 more know about it now in any case. All I can do is try again tomorrow to mail Canadian money to someone in need. I know a person that would and has done the same for me.:-) :-) :-) :-* :-* 😊
Happy Holidays. May you all get money in the mail!